Crazy Life On The Road

From the album "Broken Biscuits"

I was sick and tired of living, every day the same old way,
So I hopped on board, my good old Ford,
And took off down the highway.
No worries for the future, to hell with the past,
Going nowhere but I did not care, so long as I was going fast.

It’s a crazy life on the road. It’s a crazy life on the road.
Going nowhere but I did not care. It’s a crazy life on the road.

Feeling like Bruce Springsteen, like I was born to run.
Or Steve McQueen, on the silver screen,
Bombing round San Francisco.
In my own home movie, no cops would ever catch me.
Till I broke down, way out of town, then I began to see.

So I turned my music up, as the rain came pouring down,
Chuck Berry sang Route Sixty Six, California bound.
But I wasn’t going anywhere, not even singing the blues,
As the battery died upon the road side, and off went Radio 2.

So I called up the AA man, in his custard coloured van,
He said my friend, this is the end, you ain’t going nowhere
Better start a-walking, coz this old crate is bust,
Say, ‘Goodbye Jack’, to your Cadillac – it’s just a pile of rust.

Well that was many years back when I was a Top Gear fan,
I thought that speed was all you need, to be a real man.
A middle-aged boy racer with belly all hanging down,
Till I caught sight, in the mirror one night, of a Jeremy Clarkson clown

Now they call me Easy Rider, in a mobile chair for one,
All around the old folks’ home, doing half a ton.
It may not be a Harley, way out in the Hollywood Hills,
But when matron chases after me, I get geriatric thrills.

For many years I drove clapped out vehicles which broke down regularly making membership of the AA essential. Many a tale could be told of these breakdowns, especially those in far-flung places, and this song tries to capture some of that. Although here its something of a laugh, in reality getting stuck hundreds of miles from home in the pouring rain (and then we had no mobile phones to call for help) was no joke. I’m also not yet ready for an invalid carriage.