Reginald And Margery

From the album "The Key to a Happy Life - Disc 1"

Reginald and Margery worked in the retail trade,
At a high street shoe shop, just minimum wages paid.
But with old fashioned courtesy - the customers always right,
No boots or shoes would ever be sold too big or too tight.

CHORUS
You never know, you never know.
You never really know what's going on.

Reginald and Margery were a most unlikely pair,
No one would have suspected them of an elicit affair.
He was so prim and proper, a nervous kind of man.
She was big and brassy - all make-up and fake tan.

Reggie was the manager, preferring ladies wear,
While Margie ruled the cash desk, always fussing with her hair.
But in the backroom after dark some evenings they did stay,
Overtime stocktaking was the reason they did say.

But Reginald and Margery, how late the lights stayed on,
Half-filling empty boxes, that was their little con.
So when the company auditor came to tally the score,
He wouldn't realise that sales were really a whole lot more.

Reginald and Margery worked in the retail trade,
At a high street shoe shop, just minimum wages paid.
They creamed off half the takings - how much was never known.
The police came along one day, but the pair of them had flown.