From the album "The Key to a Happy Life - Disc 1"
I wish I had a pretty face, intelligence and wit.
Or else I wish I had the nerve, to get away with any old - you know what.
They say money opens any door no matter who you are,
But I would give up everything if I only I could play guitar.
Like Richard Thompson. Who the hell is that?
Just a man in a silly hat.
Electric or acoustic, folk, rock, jazz or blues.
Man the man's a genius whichever one you choose.
And though he looks quite miserable, and his songs are a often bleak.
He could sing the phone book - his guitar would still make you weep.
Now I have been a strummer, what a bummer for years and years.
Till my fingers are dripping blood, and the neighbours all in tears.
I've tried his fancy tuning and every plucking finger pick,
But it don't make no difference, the clever bugger makes me sick.
Some folks say the devil gave birth to rock and roll,
At the crossroads after midnight, messing with a blues man's soul.
And maybe Robert Johnson's ghost, comes to hear him play,
Sitting on his balding head, under that old beret.
Now you may have your heroes - legendary guitar men,
In your dreams if you were half as good, you'd never have to work again.
But I would live in poverty until my dying day,
If only I could play that thing the Richard Thompson way.
Not like yours truly. Who the hell am I?
Just another wannabe guy. Not Richard Thompson….
Who the hell is that? Just a man in a silly hat.
Not Richard Thompson….